In Search Of Utopia: Short Note to my Family

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May 17, 2006

Short Note to my Family

For those members of my family who were hurt/pissed off about my comments on the passing of my brother last week, two things...

1. Sorry you misunderstood my comments as being critical of him, when I meant to pay homage to a man I loved.

2. More sorry that you chose to make a decision on how I feel without talking to me about it.

I have deleted the post, all of them, including the one's that were most personal to me. But I am going to keep this... The closing to my last post...

"Today the gathering celebrated your life. Speeches were made. Massive quantities of food will be eaten, and everyone will share their favorite Tony story. I hope your son managed to get over his disspointement in you long enough to be there in the end. I will do my part by keeping your memory alive with my children. Mama and Claudia are waiting for you. Your suffering is over. So is my saddness. I rejoice in your liberation. Be at peace Bro, and know that in the end. I loved you."

That is for Tony, not any of you. If any of that offends you, my deepest sympathies for your offense. Amazing that it took something like this to bring you all to my Blog, since I have been trying to get a number of you to read it for years.

I will refrain from any mention of the US family on my blog any more, and confine my ramblings to my own family here. Despite what any of you may think. I love you all. Since I know all of you are Born Again Christians, I will close with this...

Judge not, lest ye be judged. Matthew 7:1

Posted by David A at May 17, 2006 08:24 PM
Filed Under Family | 293 Words

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Comments

I'm sorry to hear that your family had to judge how you expressed your grief for your brother. He is your brother and no one, absolutely no one, has the right to tell you how you should feel.

Not everyone has the perfect relationship, no matter what we would like to portray to the world, for the sake of appearances.

I may not be happy with every decision my brother has made in his life (and he has made some horrible decisions), but I will love him forever. The good parts and the bad parts, they are all part of my brother. At times in the past, I may not have been happy with him. At times, I may have even hated him, as his alcoholism and drug use almost tore my family apart. But I never, ever stopped loving him.

Posted by: Stained Glass Soul at May 17, 2006 09:44 PM

Thanks Vane. I had a long talk with one of my Sisters tonight, and she gave me a good piece of advice.

1. Don't always believe what someone tells you about others feelings.

2. I know what I meant and how I felt, and that is what is important. If others want to judge, it is on them.

Posted by: David Scott Anderson at May 17, 2006 10:47 PM