While on the phone trying to figure out how to inform my HMO that I'm switching doctors, I went through no less than 10 phone prompts.

Finally in frustration, I dial "0", to get customer service. A young woman's voice comes on the line and takes my information, informing me of their new policy that customers no longer have to inform the HMO of the switch to a new doctor. Just make sure to go to one that takes the insurance (which means I've just wasted 15 minutes with their new and "better" phone service. Ugh.)

As she's telling me this there's a knock at the front door (I think it's my neighbor whose dropped in a lot lately to discuss which seeds we're going to get from the catalog). I open the door. But nope..it's the Jehovah's Witnesses. I'm on the phone, the wind is howling and it's raining buckets. So I motion them to come in.

Oh god..part 2.

Still on the phone, I inform HMO girl that their phone prompt system is like something from an SNL skit and should be abolished. I let her know it's the worst phone system I've ever experienced and would she please tell her boss so they can pass it up the chain and systematically ignore me. She assures me she will. We hang up.

Deep breath.

I turn to the two women in my entry way. The first is probably in her mid-40s. She had an absolutely beautiful face. Her makeup was pristine. Her topcoat was a beautiful black wool. The companion was young..probably in her early 20s. She looked much more meek.

I knew I was stuck because I'd invited them in. So I asked what I could do for them.

Elder: I'd like to discuss your spiritual life.

Me: I'm a Deist. I'm all set there. But thanks. Is there anything else?

Both of them raised their eyebrows at me. The elder said she'd never heard of "Deist", and asked me to explain (At this point I'm wishing I had a tract for Deism like the JW one I knew was coming from them).

I explained that a Deist believes that "God is". I explained that I believe in the Creator. She asked if this is the opposite of "agnosticism". I told her that I thought agnostics didn't know for sure if God exists. I believe that the Creator does exist. It's not the opposite, that I know of.

The meek one says nothing but nods her head.

Elder: How do you feel about religion?

Me: I'm fine with it. Whatever gets people through the day. As long as it isn't used to hurt others, people should do what they've gotta do.

Elder: That makes a lot of sense. I can see you've put a lot of thought into this.

Me: Yeah. I have.

E: But what if some day something should happen that tests you so deeply that you get on your knees and question God? You ask Him, "Why have you allowed this to happen?"

Me: I don't believe in an interventionist God. God doesn't give football players touchdowns. God doesn't give musicians Grammys. God doesn't send pestilence to countries that refuse to teach Creationism in science class. God is. That's it.

E: I see. Well then, what do you think happens to your soul when you die?

Me: If we've led a good life and done well by the world around us, we'll return in a better place than the previous life.

E: Reincarnation. So you don't believe that Heaven exists?

Me: In terms of a reward system for the select few who believe in God in the proscribed way the various religions require? No.

E: What about hell?

Me: Same thing.

E: What if you're wrong?

Me: Then I'm wrong.

E: (reaching in to her satchel and handing me a tract while looking exasperated) I'll give this to you to read in the tub. Something to think about.

Me: Thanks (opening the front door and guiding them out).

I'm reasonably certain my personal entertainment value in that exchange was quite a bit higher than the JW's. I had a captive audience to irritate because they volunteered to do it. Who knows? Maybe if I'd encouraged them to stay longer I'd have recruited a couple of new Deists. LOL

(Crossposting the love from Preemptive Karma)